I was fascinating by Cameron Russel a supper top model when she talking in the
TEDtalks. I have been following this channel through Youtube since several
months ago, it’s one of reason I run out of
internet data very fast than my normal use hehehe, well it’s worth to
watch for, tho..
As a model who have worked with such client; Vogue,
Elle, Calvin Klein, Victory’s Secret Cameron was talked about look is powerful
and superficial. She talking about how insecurity frame her thought, she
worried about how she looks every day behind the camera. Because all that
magazines had printed is contraction of
herself. Yeah, I know how this feeling, when you start feel insecure
because the person that most people know you are is the person who have been
through many re-touch of media of publication. But, I can understand her, I can
understand all models. They don’t have to be judge by some person for their
appearance out of their work industry.
What I want to talking about is this—Look.
Growing up as a gril who doesn’t like to speak up a
lot and perefer to work in silent, i don’t make a lot of acts that my peer
mostly did. Instead of making noise gather around with bunch of cool gengs I
prefer to poolish my writing hobbies since
I was in junior high school at home. Instead of looking for boyfriend and started learning
how to kissing, petting, or even worst
you can imagine about, I choose to day dreaming myself in K-pop (yeah, I was a k-poper since junior high school. Oh come on don’t make a funny look at me
hahahahahaha). So, simply said instead of being famous and stunning I was a kid
in average. I didn’t do so much appealing action.
Until one day I found myself captured in my personal
camera, FYI since I like doing photography I never taking a lot of picture of
my face. Don’t asking me why? Because who the hell know why? Including me. My
mom’s relevant explanation said; around 4 or 5 years old me have phobia toward
lighting of camera, so because I was born in the era where camera should to
released their lighting when capturing thing, for God’s sake— I’m not going
smiling in front of camera at that time.
It’s make sense, maybe that’s why I don’t like
capturing my face a.k.a selfie or looking at thing which can reflect my
appearance—errrr—like mirror (?).
So, after finding myself finally capturing not-really-bad picture of me, I feel
so glad I’m not making weird look. I was 18 at that time, it was my first year
in University, as college student I discovered a lot of things about photography
art on the internet. I was attracted to professional who worked amazingly, they
capturing photos and re-touched them in flawless way. So, as trial my
current-taken-selfie was going to construction, editing my tone skin that’s
first point I was concern about at that time, then touch my lips little bit
gloosy like i used some of lipstick product which i wasn’t on the picture and
fouilaaaaa my picture turning from average me to be amazing me. Oh, this
is a masterpiece, I created this for my personal interesting.
I’m still 18, and so naïve, and vulnerable human
being, without any re-think I upload that picture into my personal Facebook
account that I never expected before will be booming me. I’m using Facebook in
trying-to-related-to-the-world, this is the thing at that time, I was free sign
up, and people build Facebook for keep intouch with their friends, or even
have not specific reason. So, do I. I created Facebook for no specific reason
(in case Mark never asking people specific reason before they sign up for Facebook) which I never making any move or
certain progress. But, what I got is a big worst impact. This comment
like punch me on the face and molested me so much. Moreover, person who did
this to me is the very close childhood friend. I never dreaming she would do
some kind of this immature things.
Fake, trash face, and many unapropriate explaination
she has wrote. She and her companion then continue writing something about me
like “ she repaire her picture to sell it for bunch of guy, in case he never
get into boy before, so she acttracts them to get some experience by faking
her fucking dumb face” on her Facebook timeline.
I don’t have any idea why she so sentimental with me.
Last time we talk like after highschool
graduated. We going to difference high school, different friends, different
vision. We ever have once made a promise for going to same college in the future, but that’s not me who
held accountable when she can’t passed while I’m going through. No matter how
much I’m thinking about this, I have no clue for exact reason for what she had
done. She ruined me in social media. The only strong reason was that promise we have made before. She couldn't make it, so when I’m passed she assumed like I cheated her, like I'm not keeping our promise for going in the same college
together, it couldn’t be something else. I am not stunning, famous, sexiest pretty
babe as her, she couldn’t said because I’m stabing her and stollen her
boyfriend for the reason of her unmoral
behaviour on Facebook.
Honestly, I was sick since that moment. I closed my
Facebook account, Insecure for being persent outdoor, it’s like there is
someone who keep thinking the same thought like hers everytime I move my step.
Like everyone targeting me and mocking me behind. I’m not comfortable talking
face to face with people especially male. She killed me for sure.
This is my invention; the worst weapons to kill someone are insult their character, torture them by verbal abuse, they will death worst then you set a gun on their
head. They are walking around, but they are just death body that the spirit
have been taken away.
Why look so matter? Why look make you labeling human.
Why someone else’s face will determine
their value which we already realized we are just the same damn skull face at
the end of the day. Why we so overbearing something that God is borrowed us
for awhile.
Can’t any boy look beyond? Look what his/her head has?
they got a treasure in it, they can be capable invent new planet, making a lot
of money, why face still a major problem?
We all worth the same, why we need to be injustice for each other when we breath, we eat, in exact same way. We normally formed just
the same. So, why we need to overbearing and give a degrade look for another?
Listen my friend, even victorya secret’s model has their own imperfection.
Human is perfect in imperfection beautiful character.
ps: stil trying to be better writer in english, pardon my broken english. piss:)
